General-purpose RW Pelican Garment
Product Description
This garment is designed for conquering all the challenges that life throws at you:
Just got fired from your telemarketing job? This garment will restore your ignorant pride.
Embarrassing tattoos on your back? This garment will conceal your shame from judging eyes.
Crashed the corporate helicopter into a Burger King again? NO PROBLEM-O, MISTER C-E-O.
It really is perfect for any occasion*. Elegant enough for formal occasions, this shirt will make you the envy of everyone at the funeral. Battle-tested in the most desperate combat scenarios imaginable, this garment will protect you from the coming wrath of Space Hitler's reptilian army**. There is no situation in which this clothing will not suit you!
* NOTABLE EXCEPTION: The uranium-238 construction of this shirt continually emits a fatal cloud of radiation that quickly extinguishes the life of the person wearing it. Wearing it in public is generally frowned upon, if not highly scandalous.
** This statement is actually false. Humanity will not be able to defend against his reptilian hordes.
Just got fired from your telemarketing job? This garment will restore your ignorant pride.
Embarrassing tattoos on your back? This garment will conceal your shame from judging eyes.
Crashed the corporate helicopter into a Burger King again? NO PROBLEM-O, MISTER C-E-O.
It really is perfect for any occasion*. Elegant enough for formal occasions, this shirt will make you the envy of everyone at the funeral. Battle-tested in the most desperate combat scenarios imaginable, this garment will protect you from the coming wrath of Space Hitler's reptilian army**. There is no situation in which this clothing will not suit you!
* NOTABLE EXCEPTION: The uranium-238 construction of this shirt continually emits a fatal cloud of radiation that quickly extinguishes the life of the person wearing it. Wearing it in public is generally frowned upon, if not highly scandalous.
** This statement is actually false. Humanity will not be able to defend against his reptilian hordes.